Tuesday, December 21, 2010

2010 Wrap Up: Best Legal Story

Unless you are trapped as a juror for 20 hours, the year is winding down and most of you are probably on vacation, so let's have some fun over the next couple of days and do a year-end wrap up.

What was your favorite legal story this year? Does one stand out? (There will never be another Halverson.)

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

I graduated law school, got a job, and passed the bar. Hioooooooooo! And yes, I like the serial comma.

Anonymous said...

I was in court earlier this year and saw two memorable bail arguments.

In one case an attorney was arguing to have his client released because "He was just a little fish in this drug cartel's trafficking scheme and he is willing to cooperate with the State and testify against the larger fish and it’s unfair that the State is not letting him out." In open court, this advocate waxed on for several minutes about how his client was willing to cooperate and give evidence against folks higher up the food chain. To the advocate's credit, the judge let the client out of jail, saying his attorney had endangered his life if he left him in custody.

Another argument concerned bail in a sexual assault matter. This attorney actually said that the numerousity of counts was unfair and that “it would have been better if he had killed her” (for bail purposes, naturally). Silence reigned in the courtroom. Bail denied.

Yeah....those stuck out in my mind.

Anonymous said...

Is anybody on this blog concerned with Rick Shurette being sued by AllState for a conspiracy with attorneys and Chiros...? this is the guy already indicted by the FEDS for candy striping with a fee agreement in his pocket

Anonymous said...

I think the Miley issues have been the best.... great soap opera and it keeps going.

She body slams soccer mom... goes nuts.
He hits her , chokes and kills a little dog.
She calls cops, he has blood on his hands and shoots off fire weapon in neighborhood.
He goes to rehab.
She files divorce papers.
He comes back - they make up and are seen like teenagers groping each other in public.
She gets pregnant.
His actions get him sent to bar board for review.
They have another (boy) or no, they wanted a girl.
She doesn't name the baby when it is born.
(Even though she knew it was a male for 6 mths before giving birth and hoped the doctors made a mistake).
Can't wait to see what 2011 brings us next year.

As the Miley world turns.....

Anonymous said...

I can think of 500 million widely used and clearly labeled yet somehow misused stories this year.

Anonymous said...

The Nancy Quon story is also a great soap opera. And I have a feeling the story is just getting started.

Anonymous said...

10:10 gets my vote.

Anonymous said...

To: Law School Grad (first commenter)
From: Entire legal community

Re: Serial comma and other common sense grammatical rules.

Please refrain from using the Oxford comma, aka the serial comma, in this or any other public forum. You are already aware that it only makes sentences more readable. As a lawyer, you are now paid to obscure meaning through bad grammar. Please also overuse commas, underuse semicolons, and never, ever use plain English in any document.

Please also type two spaces after end punctuation in all documents you create hereafter. This archaic convention, rendered unnecessary since IBM created proportional spaced typewriters in 1961, yet continued through the use of the now-obsolete Corel WordPerfect for every legal document until even the largest legacy firm switched to the vastly superior MS Word, will ensure that you will forever act like a technological troglodyte. After all, a computer is only a glorified typewriter, right?

Remember: you are not to do things correctly; you are to follow the example of your (glorious, shiny) partners. Only then will you be a "real" lawyer.

Anonymous said...

Had to unexpectedly argue at a hearing this week (as local counsel) after the judge wouldn't let the pro hac vice counsel appear based on his abominable drafting skills. It went fine, but I hate being in the position of feeling like a jackass because someone else's work stinks.

Anonymous said...

Stacy Roundtree. Hands (or mouth) down.

Anonymous said...

@9:34,

And always, always, always, begin every motion or pleading with "Comes now Party X, hereinafter referred to as "X" by and through his wordy counsel, blah blah of blah and blah..."

Because God forbid the court read the caption and title and figure out who wrote the document.

Anonymous said...

But for the fact it broke so late in the year (and is still developing), my vote would be for Nancy Quon and her copy boyfriend suicide/murder pact shenanigans.

Word verification: madefortvmovie

Anonymous said...

@ 9:34

In addition to the other helpful drafting guidance provided herein, make it a habit to dedicate at least 5 pages in every dispositive motion citing to the court the legal standard for a motion to dismiss or summary judgment. Include at least 2 string cites per page with a minimum of 5 cases per string cite which definitively explain to the court the legal standard the court must use in considering your motion to dismiss or for summary judgment.

Anonymous said...

I remember the first judicial day of 2010. It was just after 8am, and I was walking from the Douglas parking garage on Casino Center across Lewis to the RJC. As I approached the pedestrian crossing a bewildered man ran past me yelling that there was a crazy guy; and that he had a rifle, and was currently shooting people down the street. I acknowledged his statement, and proceeded towards court, checking rooftops all the while. And then every siren in the valley erupted, followed by roflcopters. I then heard the firefight on the street from 2 blocks west of the Fedhouse. I decided that my client could live with a BW for one more day, and proceeded back to my car. The End.

Anonymous said...

the saddest story was definitely the federal courthouse shooting. RIP stan, the guy who always checked my ID

Anonymous said...

Nancy Quon, Miley, OJ, Douche-tooth-haven, endoscopy, Awand, tweeker bikini sign-holders, court shootings, judges bickering about security.

The fighting 8th just might be the most entertaining district in the nation. Too bad just about everyone of our stories illustrates the sad state of our bench.

Elections give you Halverson; appointments encourage bribes and the old-boy network. The 8th is beyond saving.

Anonymous said...

How could this threat get sixteen comments without mentioning the sad loss of Legally Unbound? He or she was one rad dude.

Anonymous said...

Bob Eglet's half-billion-plus verdict might be a good place to start. It's not even a local story any more; it's now national. Jesse Walsh is dumb and corrupt.

Anonymous said...

The horrible state of the Clerk's office. I cannot believe what used to take 1 minute now takes over a week.

Hey, Kathy, thanks for taking the clerks office from Shirley. The wisdom of your decision is shadowed only by your achievements on the RJC project that cost the taxpayers roughly this next year's deficit.

Anonymous said...

My favorite legal story is that of the dozen or so law school grads reviewing endless documents in the M&A basement. One by one, they ate each other in a desperate bid to survive and obtain permanent employment...

Anonymous said...

All new lawyers should strive to use Shatner commas whenever possible. For you neophytes, Shatner Commas are oddly placed commas that don't seem to serve any actual purpose in punctuation, but make it look like you should take odd pauses, as William Shatner does when delivering lines.

e.g.
When, we get to, the restaurant, we should, order some, tasty, beverages.

Anonymous said...

Shatner commas are frequently, used, by new, lawyers, who are ter,rible, wri,ters and do not, know how, to write, worth, a, shit.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Anonymous said...

Shatner commas are commonly, used by, old lawyers, who have never, learned how, to write worth, a shit. These Shatner commas, however, are worth $750, an hour.

Anonymous said...

Of all that has happened, in 2010, it would seem, that it all comes down to, the necessity, of profuse comma usage. Furthermore, this being relient upon the facts, of which regard the nonsensical nature, and relevance, to the extent that Chewbacca, is a wookiee, yet resides, on Endor, which would seem, is a redundancy.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally voting for Susie Squarebush!

Anonymous said...

Stacey Roundtree the homewrecker

bail vegas now said...

I believe the epic case of Dean Galing versus Mike Oxhard PhD was interesting and had an explosive typical Las Vegas ending.